How do you know that it is time to move on? I need some serious advice please

I have been with this guy for almost 4 years and I have decided to break it off. I am moving all the way from Va back to my homestead in OH. For the last 3 years it has been an up and down roller coaster ride. From the name calling on both ends, the physical abuse on both ends, and much more. The sex life absolutely sucks. He does not care if I am being pleasured or not. When I tell him that I don't want to have sex, he gets angry and will call me name. And when I tell him what he could do to turn me on he says things like ';I really don't want to have to work that hard';... And I might ask something as simple as just some kissing or caressing. He just likes to get right down to business not caring if he is hurting me or not. We do have good times though but they are really short lived. Sometimes we get into arguements about the dumbest things and he sometimes goes overboard. For example, we were on the beach not to long ago and he was trying to feel my vagina. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop and I moved his hand. He tried a few more time to put his hand inside of my bathingsuit bottoms and I kept blockinghis hand with me arm. Their were families and stuff near by and I did not like it. He got really angry that I did not let him have his way and he packed up and left the beach. We were having a great day until he did that. He called me a bit*h for it. I have just been dealing with this for so so so long now. I am used to to it now. I have tried to work on it but when I tell him that we need to communicate, or that we need to go to a counsilor he refuses. He says that I am the one who needs to change in order for him to change. I just am tired of being the one to change. And he uses the excuse that he works more than me and makes more than me as grounds for his defense. His defense is that because of his hard job and his income being more, I am the one who needs to cut him some slack when it comes to sex, and that I need to learn how to pick my battles. I just don't think that it is right for him to not work on his part of making this relationshup better but he expects me to changeHow do you know that it is time to move on? I need some serious advice please
You need to leave the relationship. It is not healthy, he is abusive and you may be too. Probably from trying to defend yourself. Get support from family and friends. Make sure you save a little money and plan it so that when you tell him, you are ready to act. This relationship is really harmful for both of you.How do you know that it is time to move on? I need some serious advice please
The guy is a jerk and you are making the right decision. Leave him behind. There are plenty of better fish in the sea.



Your both in a very unhealthy relationship and it's time to move on.
I'm glad your smart enough to finally leave now.
DUMP HIM MOVE ON HE IS A LOSER!!!!!!!!!1
when ure done, ure done, and u'll know it.
This guy sounds like a COMPLETE LOSER! Tell him flat out that if he wasn't so bad in bed, you would most likely want sex more often!





Drop this creep and find a REAL man ASAP!
Wow, this is like a mirror of my marriage,except the abuse is a one way street and I'm on the receiving end.





I think you should get out of this relationship. I know from experience it will not get better. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and it has gotten worse each year.





If my situation wasn't really complicated, I would get out. Good luck.
It's an excellent time for you to move on. When you get so used to the abuse that you're losing your better judgment....it's that you're in a really really really bad relationship. Let him be someone else's problem.
I dont have to finish reading what you wrote to tell you it is now the time to move on. Just get out of this relationship cos it is sick! You need to be on your own for sometime and learn to love yourself again.
If you don't have children with this man, it is time to break it off. He obviously doesn't care about you. He is comfortable with the relationship as it is, sex when he wants, and he doesn't care about you. He obviously doesn't care about other people either, he only cares about himself. He is right you are not going to change him and if you don't change and become happy being his doormat you are going to be miserable. Why have you stayed so long?
you know its time when your just tired. tired of dealing and dont care a whole lot about it anymore.





thats when you know your done
I think the deciding factor in deciding when to move on is simple...will you be happier with them, or without them? Obviously initially you'll be unhappy...but in the long run do you see yourself having a better happier life? if you do then you need to move on.
He sounds like a real prize. I can't imagine why you are thinking of leaving him.





Do you sense a degree of sarcasm? What are you getting out of this relationship? Are you a Masochist?
I thnk you gave this relationship enough time and are getting nothing but unhappiness and disappointments with a guy who is not willing to work on things. No one can work on obtaining a healthy relationship with his no fault attitude. His refusal to work on things indicates no guarantees of better days. I'd say it is time for you to stop wasting your time and move on. It is obvious you are not happy and he shows such little regard towards your feelings and needs he sounds to be a guy that lacks respect for women. Move on so you can at least give yourself a chance to meet someone who will love and respect you. Good luck to you!
Move on. He'll realize that he screwed up. Then he will change. Hopefully it's not too late for both of you. Otherwise move on.
wow, sounds like you both are not on the same level. I understand about the beach thing it would make me uncomfortable too. Marriage is a two way street and it should be both of you working to change and make it better not just one person. Maybe some time apart for you both will help. If he really loves you then he will want to talk things out and make them better with you and for you.
Have you ever thought that he is controlling and abusive??? By trying to force you to do something that you are uncomfortable with and then calling you names (the beach incident) is his way of trying to control you. His goal is to make you do what he wants even if you do not want to. By forcing you into sex that you do not want (AKA rape) he is controlling you and abusing you again. By telling you he doesn't want to work to make you happy in bed, is telling you he doesn't care about your feelings. But he has you so beaten down that you will do what he wants anyway. By becoming physical, and this can happen on both sides as a way of giving what you are taking (a sort of trade or emotional exchange), it is a sign of physical dominance and a way to hurt the other person.


Now would be the perfect time to leave and take yourself out of this relationship. You need to find out what kind of person you want to be and the kind of person you want in your life. Don't short change yourself or think that you do not deserve the best out there. Just make sure that you are also doing the best you can and giving the best of yourself to someone who deserves it.